Tonight on the train home when we passed milsons point and Jesse exclaimed "woah Luna Park still exists!" Phil said "Rachel, doesn't it feel like you have been seventeen forever."
I thought about it and let it run through my mind and my answer was, "Yeah"
I have been seventeen for so long and then i think nah but then i think yeah remember when you were sixteen and it's all like no actually, i was a totally different person then and that was a lifetime ago so what's going on, how come life is speeding by but i've been a pre-adult for so long. Maybe life is finally throwing me a bone and spoon feeding my obsession with Neverland and youth.
Getting drunk at Luna Park seems such a funny thing to do yet when i turned 17 we had fun, but Jobe was still on pills and we were rapping and Dani and I tried to make our mouths hit the sides of our cheeks and everything was so different but that was only like, 9 months ago.
I can't really figure out what i'm trying to make sense of here, maybe just that being seventeen has been more like 9 years squashed into one (both in the physical sense and shaping of personality)
It just seems like i'll be trapped (or enclosed in a haven?) at this age forever because even when i leave i'll still be seventeen, so really, what's going on here? logic is stupid and you should turn the age successing your current one based on how you feel as a human being, but that would be crap because then i would be like one hundred years old. no no no i am youthful i am youthful
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