BYE!

My last bloggidy for a while!!
i'm leaving early tomorrow for my flight. it's 10.33pm and i still haven't packed eep! i'm not worried i always leave it to the last minute.
i had quite a busy afternoon, i left at 4.00 with tom to go to the northbridge opshop because it has great stuff. i went in wanting to find a big red jumper, some high-waisted and really tight black pants that i could alter into a short/underwear type thing and a necklace if i was lucky. i got all of those things!! the necklace is lovely it's a pearl colour and gold trimmed china shell i really like it. fuck that reminds me i still need to alter my pants before i go! yikes
then i dropped tom at the station because he was going with his musos to a thing at the opera house, then i went to chatswood chase to buy underwear and mascara, then i saw amer's mom and got to enjoy her lovely seal laugh, then i went back to northbridge to pick up my pay from work then i went home, chilled quickly, ate some dinner then went to danik's quickly (but she wouldn't let me go!) and we talked aimlessly in her windy room whilst red lights fucked blowholes THEN when i finally escaped her (loving) grasps i drove to allambie to see jobe-atron and i forgot that you have to turn like 3 times to get to his street because it was dark and things so i FINALLY found it and found his familiar gate and then the lovely boy himself opened the door, he was babysitting conny who i think is so cute, then we just laughed at people on the computer, he complained about having no milk, we watched house, talked about having backwards knees then i didn't like what he was talking about so i hid kinda (-this is not a good personality trait yet i continue to do it!) then i got a phonecall and had to go pick tom up at the station at about 9.30. THEN i had to go get my jacket from katie lucky she lives v. close, because it was getting late for a weeknight and i was scared to wake people up knocking on the door!

i feel weird, because earlier in the day at school when i was going to my last class for the day phil was acting as if it was the last time he'd see me before i left but i was like don't be daft of course i'll see you later tonight or something, and brushed away his goodbyes. this did not occur!

there's a feeling in my stomach i can't quite put my finger on. i think it's nerves. i'm not sure why, because i've never seen jesse for more than once a year since i left wellseph. hmm. i feel like i'm leaving at a time i shouldn't be or something. i don't know, but i do know despite these nerves i'm MAD PYSCHED !!!!

oh i'm missing terry's 18th, it's really funny he was quite select with his invitations and random people got barred bahahhaah oh well i got an invite. kinda sad i wont be here for it, the invites were all pirate lingo and shit fuck yeah gotta love that!

i really have to go and alter my pants and pack my bags and sort stuff out so i can leave on good terms with a calm mind
love me, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMWA

Stop Right Here But Continue If You Wish, Because The Puzzle Is Not Quite Complete, But It's Getting There

Everything feels good at the moment
things that seemed bad really aren't once my favourites put them into perspective, and those things that had the possibility to be great really delivered.
i feel like people who maybe never got to absorb my true personality finally have (and with little time to spare) and it just results in a whole room of giggles when paired with my favourites. it shouldn't really stop now and i don't think it will,

stress is about to pass come my holiday back to wellington, the plane trip by myself will surely be amazing, as long as i have mini schweppes and diet cokes. schweppes lemy maybe because that drink keeps me from feeling nauseous whilst airborne

i should really stop worrying about time and the ageing process and just enjoy being young, youthful while it lasts. and Yet, despite only ever being in love with a beer bottle & a mirror, what does it matter because that time will arrive and self acceptance is a lovely thing

yes, quite.

Ghoulie or Ghostie or wee student beastie !!

Oh time, we have had this dispute time and time again !! i don't like you and you definitely do not like me. you limit my recreational time and i don't treat you like the wonderful creature that YOU ARE NOT! . if time was so kind as to just slow down for a bit or hand me a small remote which i could use at my discretion and i promise not toooo often i would press it's button labelled "STOP TIME"
if i had this wonderful creation i could have paused today so i could do my modern history heaps early in the morn, well i would pause it in the morning so technically it would be morning but if i hadn't (hypothetically) denied physicalities the day would have passed and since I DONT HAVE THIS REMOTE THIS IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED AND THIS DAY HAS SUCKED AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANYWHERE ON MY MODERN (which is due tomorrow) and in turn i had to deny 3 invitations which i really would have liked to accept ! breakfast with amer; nope, sorry. lunch with DK and phil @ the beach; nope, sorry. dinner with DK and heaps of others; nope, sorry. all of these invitations involved meals and i love meals and i also love invitations so fuck you you faceless fagg-ly.
i have come to realise that i am glad for my young age having accepted that time and ultimately ageing is inevitable. (or have i not seeing as i want a remote with a magic hopefully big red button?) you see, by the time christmas 2008 rocks around, i will still be 18, will have been out of school for a year, will have travelled a large portion of the world, be living in a shabby apartment @ bondi beach with phil, and will have either just/about to embark on a month or two in tokyo. whereas, my friends who love gloating about the fact that omg they're all 18 now will be either in their first year of uni or 19/ nearly 20 and when i start uni the following year i'll be the age that they were when they started. oh life is sweet ! i feel like i have the upperhand in the sense that i have more life or something. + when (and i am sort of not gloating here) they are 30 and suddenly have to think about spooky decisions like kids and marriage and where is this career going i can be like well i'm 29 i'm still young, got heaps of life and everything still points up. not that all those previously mentioned things aren't wonderful, i just personally can't see myself ever growing up and embracing them until i'm well into my 30's and that is a hideous thought because instead of using like .. moisturiser for young skin i'll be stocking up on wrinkle fighters and botox injections.
phil even said that he plans to kill himself on his 24th birthday because how could he possible live past that age. i whole heartedly agree, the prospect of not being a teenager scares the living daylights out of me like a ghost floating through a wall or something. no actually i think that would be quite pleasant and i'd want to make friends with it ! i'm drifting here, basically i hate time and everything it does i want it to just STOP so i dont finish school and i dont have to grow up and i dont have to be an age that doesn't start with 1. i say this because i reckon if i reach 100 i'll be such a cool chick ! the fab pensioner who is notorious either in the sense that they smell like cat and throw their cats at the little kids (damn you!) or hasn't changed their wardrobe since their prime. aka since NOW ! but every other age between then is spoooooky.
time time time CHANGES THE ESSENCE, as i like to stick to.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Oh my goodness life! is good at the moment


yep i got my license, despite an awful reverse parallel & even curb side stop!! i had to do it in the new car and it has all this stuff im not used to ie footbrake (not handbrake) and the gearstick for reverse and drive and stoof is like where the windscreen wiper lever would be ahh! and for some reason me (AKA queen of reverse parallels) felt it neccessary for the first time ever to not turn my wheel far enough left(ask me why and i cannot tell you!!) so i ended up soooooooooooooooooo far from the curb






























































































































































































































maybe that far
but a bit of nudging about got me at a respectable distance..
:)
haha me DK phil jordan and hannah went to maxy b. on monday night (vechile/driving courtesey of me!) and we were on a main road @ night and all of a sudden i noticed my lane start to suspiciously shrink- just like my tolerance to milk- and then wasnt there at all so i yelped and swerved into the next. i did not see any warning sign that the left lane ended and please merge to the right ,if i had the time/motivation to complain i'm sure i would but this isn't the case


secondly, only like... 7 1/2 days until i leave wahoo.! my flight is nice n' early which is great because i simply love getting up early for flights and driving to the airport and getting a limonata to wake me up but seeing as it's winter i think i'll have to settle for coffee this time! then i'll arrive and have to scan for jesse in the crowd, despite not having seen her for more than a year and she now has a bob. i can't wait to stay in hers and alex's flat, i'm so excited that they live alone. she said she eats porridge day in day out, we will make leather moccasins (spelling?) and on the first night is her uni fashion show or something. with a catwalk and shit fuck yeah im excited. i will freeze though, i remember that much :)


YES I AM GOING TO THE CONCERT OF THE BEST BAND EVER TO GRACE THE PLANET AND INFACT THE WHOLE SOLAR SYSTEM, MAYBE EVEN UNIVERSE. i can't wait. it's on the last day of my trials which couldn't be better ! on dani's proposed 18th night though so that is a slight downside. me + jobe
:)
it's all smiles this week!

Don't Step On The Cracks

last night i went over to my besty bests house DK at maybe about 8.30 and her car wasnt there and i was like oh shit shes pulled a DK and gone walkabout and im about to be left with the fam so i'll have to go find my lonely corner ! haha but that was not the case, i was approaching the door and i heard the voices of Deeky and Zooey. yayy. drinks and smokes on the balcony watching the rain fall and listening to cinders pee through the cracks in the wood ! hahaa. zoe was eagerly waiting for jordan to arrive with her pizza but he was sooo long we're talking hours. we moved inside it got a bit cold. watched a movie. dan spilled her drink all over the keyboard haha it got so fucked up. then my other fave phil AKA crazyhorse arrived with anna, holly, kaitlyn, annie and i think thats it. it was so funny at the same time they arrived so did this weird old lady and she was waving to DK and DK was like erm ok wave back but then she started approaching the car and the girls were like screaming and locked their doors and the lady was like looking in the windows and to this moment we still do not know who she was !! jords and hannah arrived soon after. rady rar, things happened, laughs occurred, then all of a sudden everyone was off to kaitlyns i think but i was feeling home so me and phil stayed at danis after everyone had gone and stayed warm on the couch until tom came and picked us up !
I'M LEAVING IN 11 DAYS

(see the sun is gone again)

TODAY ON THE ROUTE HOME WE DROVE PAST STANDARD CHURCH. NATURALLY, I LOOKED OUT THA WINDOW TO CHECK OUT WHAT THEIR MESSAGE WAS 2DAY.

"GOD DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ATHEISTS THEREFORE ATHEISTS DON'T EXIST"

!!! GET OUT. THE WINDOWS FOGGED UP WITH FURY (FROM ME). GET OUT

on a happier note, i did myyyy english, went well i thought. DIDNT do my biology seeing as the "teacher" is a fucking ditz and got through like six 5min speeches in 1.5HOURS> crazy yo. i could really give her the name slowpoke except no way mayn she doesn't deserve a pokemon name no way has she got that status.
MER

All The Faces All The Voices Blur

this song never fails to give me shivers

they're so close to arriving on our shores i can almost smell it. and i just can feel that it will be during my HSC, or on the night of y12 formal or something. i dont really care, i would throw it all away for a night with them & their amazing music. i love

HSC And A !Kitten!

This week has been very satisfying for me in the HSC department !!
by saturday i will have gotten one english assesswa out of the way, one biology assesswa out of the way and done 2/3 of my art majorwork photos. yayyy for me!

for engy we have to do a visual representation of POWERPLAY! rah! (plus rationale)
phil posed for mine:



the second shot wasn't serious he was just being a dreamboat. sooo many people's are sooo boring that i've seen, they write like POWER in the middle and then cut out letters to form obvious words and the whole thing is just so obvious it makes me sick !

that afternoon after photog. i went back to phils with him and matt, got coffee from a man who asked me if i wanted sugar and i said noo! but then he whispered 'come here' and started sprinkling sugar in it saying 'you're sweet so your coffee is sweet' and wah it was hideous tasting everytime i got a big granule of brown sugar .

i saw phil's new kitten ! fifi, as light as a feather and as pretty as a flower.







naww!

10/06/07

yesterday was we love sounds. it was fun, it claimed nothing on bdo but it was a nice day out w/ everyone
we were waiting outside for ages coz jay's ticket was with aarons friend who hadn't shown so maybe like 2 hours is a good estimate?! we were kept entertained by katie.
this is katie:




she's a bag of fun especially when you get some drinks in her underpants, and they soon transfer into her mouth !

then i saw jobe ! from a distance i thought i recognised that slim frame and big brown hair so i yelled and he turned and when he realised the company he glided over the meadows to embrace me and DK. it was far too brief though i just spoke to him via telephone and he just explained the situation was awkward for him because of ppl from his old school being there

we had a quick girly snap


danyo and jordsyo !






omg holla jordz. it was hot in there

there's actually really good intentions behind this photo, a guy wanted a photo with us doing the pose on his tshirt so we all tried to do the pose on his tshirt but the photographic evidence makes it look not so impressive but at the time it really was




and this guy was the biggest legend that we met

i think him and jay are soulmates possibly we lost her a few times because of this fellow he was such an inspiration with his good intentions and headshaking and lying on the floor amidst 1000s of people.

umm this was at a point in the night when me and deej were telling eachother how great we looked..


there were so many disgusting electro kids. if i were able to vomit i'd projectile it all over they're faces and fluoro shirts .

they're like a never ending swarm !







this isn't my headband, it's jobes but i'm never giving it back i realised, especially since he said i could have it :)

me DK and jordan got a taxi back from oxford st. at about 1.30 because our feet were really tired . even the 5 min walk home killed me and i thought i was being followed.
i was a armless zombie because my arms were safely tucked inside my shirt
jay appreciated my raspy voice
and a boy from the servo thought i was looking for biscuits in the fucking refrigerator but he didn't realise he asked what food i recommended and i replied biscuits, i wasn't actually looking for biscuits for myself in the water section

fucker ! a nice day

(faux) shoplifting

I'm fucking sick of being treated like a derelict ! is it my appearance? my clothes my hair what is it, do i have the appearance of an unkempt watch out this girl shoplifts? i never, only jobe! hahaha. like, i was leaving k-mart after purchasing some modest sandshoes, and the lady asked to check my bag AFTER i'd made my purchase (i know this is standard for 'teens' but..) then she saw some pawpaw lipbalm that i'd had for eternitys and she looked at it then winked and did a 'get outta here' motion- in other words she thought i'd stolen it but was saying go on, scat cat i won't tell. bitch ! my eyes were like laserbeams burning her soul !
then, i was leaving another shop and as i'd purchased like a birthday card or something i got to the doors of the shop and the security lady asked to look inside my STORE bag which had my bday card in and was sealed with tape. fuck ! burn in hell, not that that shit exists
i feel like a good book, paired with a nice large cap with x froth and a six pack o' donuts. i feel like a lot of things- clearer weather, yoshi's story, tom to get back and some internal warming.
i miss tom, it's not fair that he should keep leaving me. on an extremely selfish note, i hope i am blessed with death before him so i dont have to miss him ! not for decades though, i want a fulfilling life. i'll get him back next year when i flee the country for a year ! i was thinking about it and there really is only a few people i will truly miss. i think there are a few fake friendships that i will be glad when they move on in my absence, less pretending and more time for the good stuff. focus my time since there's clearly not enough !!

Uh

UH.
oh gawd life is effort at the moment. not in a bad way, just in the sense that there's so much to be done that actually requires effort not just my bluffing skillz and there's so little time to do it in
it's freezing today. freezing, winding, raining. i can handle the cold, don't mind it at all, but when it gets paired with the wind and the rain that slashes it into your face and makes an umbrella useless and wets your legs i just dont have the time. we left school early, naturally, me and katie

my camera is fixed ! im happy, it's happy and i promise to treat it with more care so this doesn't happen again. it was broken for about 2 months which is annoying because theyll be not many photographic memories. oh well it's happened and i can hardly turn back the clock

ew i have work. kill me. at least ill be able to get some coffeeeeee.
this cold renders my fingers unable to type smoothly, so i'm going for a showey
yawn!

Sydney Jewish Museum

today my mod history class had an excursion @ the sydney jewish museum in darlohurst. had to be @ chathood way too early for my liking, 8am. went and got a nice big coffeeee with jay, i must say i'm always a little nervous at gloria jeans because you know how they dont put on the lid for you well im not all that confident in my lid sealing skillz and quite frankly i never know if i've done it right or is my cappuccino about to spill all down my nice top? or dress? or whatever it happens to be that im wearing. (today it was a nice sparkly top/dress and i would hate to have seen that ruined)
the train was sooo busy it was times like that i thanked my lucky stars for my height because i was able to get fresher oxygen from the higher reaches of the cabin whereas most other people (bar maybe jakob, johnny c.!) were sharing oxygen with strangers with bland lives and matching bland suits. i'm v. claustrophobic. and when lots of people keep nudging or touching me i get very flustered and very angry so i dont trust myself to say anything
we got off @ kings x and walked over and to miss hardys amazement the museum didn't open until 10am and it was only 10 past nine. crazy ! so we killed some time at the park and omg this is my favourite part of the story me and jay were sitting on a bench and there was a really cute boy maybe 4 or 5 walking down the path (not a parent/companion to be seen) and then jay laughed and said haha ray it looks like he's saying 'fuck' to us and i was like yeahhhhwhatevs! but then he got closer and we were both listening/lip reading intensely and he was quietly saying to us 'fuck off' 'fuck you fuck you' 'fuck you cunts' hahahahahahaha. we were in hysterics and he kept swearing at us with words im sure i didnt know at that age. then his mum started calling for him and we realised she was some standard crack whore or summin and let it be. but it was really quite sad i guess. later on he was going around pretending to (or actually?) taking photos with a phone of everyone. who knows

so we got in the museum. they searched our bags and stuff (i guess its pretty standard seeing as its the JEWISH museum so any racist/ anti-semitic motherfuckers might bomb the place) and the security guard said no gum and naturally i was chewing gum and there wasnt a bin in sight so i said umm and he said 'swallow it' so i did. i mean, its not like i dont swallow my gum, i usually do, but its the fact that a stranger told me with authority to swallow it that i dont like. no im not a fucking doormat who will swallow her gum at the drop of a hat
too bad i did

first an oldish german dude with not much neck and a lot of flabby chin and a lovely enthusiasm talked for ages about the nuremberg trials but i couldnt help but notice he strayed from the topic a bit and also a few things didn't make sense because his vocabulary was a little limited and omg was i the only person who noticed his passion for alliteration he kept saying things like and the POWER of the PROSECUTION was PERMITTED to PLAY the blah blahblah and it was killing me i was squirming in my chair yet no one else seemed to notice. i felt a lot like shouting by the end but then the next lady came in and she was a (jewish) survivor of the auschwitz concentration camp and her story was so sad it really made me realise that hitler was real and the genocide was real and this was only like 60 years ago and stuff ! fucking crazy ! my eyes got watery in a few parts when she was saying how she was the only one of her whole family who survived those years and when the war was over and they were released they still didnt believe it and thought maybe they were about to be tricked and shot it was just so sad . she was so cute too i really wanted to give her a hug i could have folded her up and put her in my pocket she was that little. i dont mean to be patronising though !

serious part over, me and jay had some adventures in the lift. we were only going down one floor but the elderlies of the museum wanted the lift too and said 'oh no thats only one floor down' and we were like 'ohhhh so sorry i didnt know that' but it was fake politeness and really you cant trust these teenagers with politeness. in the bathrooms after id dried my hands with paper towels i discovered a dryer and said hey a dryer! and turned it on but the power of the drying wind caused dirty hand towels to fly up and swoop me and ahhh germy germy germy

when we left the boy was still at the park and this was maybe 2-3 hours later

got some oporto on the way back to kings x i was so proud i (quite loudly) said lets get oporto and then next thing i know the whole group from the excursion is in there ! yum yum ! it was nice, not as nice as bondi ones but i hadnt had it in a while so that was a treat in itself
back @ chatty i departed from the others with a skip and a bound to check out a couple of oppys. strangely there was nothing that really tickled my fancy in the one that always has stuff that tickles my fancy. stupid lady opened my curtain when i was in the changeroom luckily i was fully dressed i wouldnt want such scum to lay eyes on my bare skin ! she didnt even apologise, bitch
i have to finish up i have more to tell but i have to have a quick dinner then rush off to ANOTHER excursion (a night one!) for english to parramatta (!) to watch a play (rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead)
ANTM FINAL TONIGHT i hate phil at the moment because hes being selfish and not waiting for me and DK to get back from our advanced english excursion just because he does standard maybe hes jealous of our talents
baha !
ALICE !