Formal post

15/11/07
Surprisingly, a terrific night!


three amigos!


+ holly!


looking preggers here


outside the minibus!


inside the minibus! (lookin' gross, oh well)


dani!


dani #2!


date (also amigo)


sloping "landscape shot"


amer and damo! long term besty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


stunned










we had these crazy performers spinning shit and stuff! i wondered aloud "does this turn guys on?"







art class shot (get OUT: charles sapoot..ra(? :S), matthew ho, katie marshall, zoe lassig) ...+ seedy fluros

photos stopped here coz i got drunk and smashed a glass yew
For those of you who made my school days a pleasure may a shining light touch every part of your life, for those who sucked prepare for spells shooting you in the head, (or was that bullets?)

TICK TICK TICK Seventeen Years Nearer My Death

I'M SO BORED WITH THE L. I . F . (E)

Here is an insight of how i dwindle away my days!



Making gay (but cute...) hens chase bread to gobble up :) notice my "hehe"s

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Searching for Lucy (aka Lucifer) ((a usually mute cat))

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Easily finding Monty (lazy oaf, usually a loud cat)


NB this is not my normal voice i can't help it when i'm around pets i became sickly mushy Rachel 4 octaves higher. Don't know why but i'm quite cute and usually more masculine

I Seek Sadness

This is my problem
A discontentment with what's happening in 'reality' can only lead to (courtesy of an active mind) a leaning towards the imagination. Of course, there are bound to be stages of 'life' where discontent and a search for convalescence is slightly more pressing than usual. So it seems that perhaps the fine line between fantasy and reality is blurred, a dangerous aspect as my dreamscapes are constructed and elaborate on miniscule details of my life that crave elaboration... so sometimes i have to stop and really question did that happen or was that a fleeting moment in my mind, a figment of my imagination?
The answer is always the latter, nothing in my life reflects the fairytale animation i want therefore the result is always crushing
I can't help wanting these ideals and i sure can't do anything about nobody else wanting them --> I can't wait forever, the only one looking at life through a silver mist of idealism. Nothing will ever happen except for disappointment
It's like hunting for Hallows. I'll never get 'em all, not when it counts

You Can Almost Smell The Flowers!!!

Ball Dress!
Today!
Reminiscent of a rose garden or some sort of flower garden
i like it

I still really like my old dress so i think i will just wear it to Scott's the next week. although Jobe suggested i should wear jeans and a turtleneck sweater. hairy legs, shaved head. Hahaha oh dear

I had a really pleasant day, just Danielle and myself. I chose her dress and she chose mine, we gonna be da prettiest gurls at da ball. I hope i don't look TOO sexy i've got to keep Mr. Gardiner away from me ahahah grosss i feel so germy after putting that thought onto e-paper, infact the fact that it even popped into my head is beyond repulsive i don't think i've ever looked sexy in my life :)

FOREVER

Something that stuck in my head today was a short exchange of words on the way home from NOTOWN. NEWTOWN SUCKS. NEWTOWN MAKES ME FROWN it takes the crown for worst town. what's with this ghey mood probably some newtown fag aimed some drugs at my open mouth and scored
Anyway, Phil asked me if i hated him. And then went on to reason all the reasons why I would hate him according to my personality (ie he's loud, he finds his own jokes really funny) and i said no you stupid idiot you're second in my top friends ahaha but it seems like you hate yourself
and he said so i guess that makes me your second best friend

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

Today was one of those days where you lose all faith in your better judgement. you know, i was contemplating not actually going to the Newtown, i mean newtown (don't deserve no capital) festival, just because.. well, just because i felt like moping around home and irritating my little brother and just being a general nuisance!
i got up really early and drove 15 minutes away (i could have made a 1 minute walk) to buy biscuits for my cats because they didn't like what they had for breakfast and face it they are royalty in my opinion. so i drove to get them cat biscuits, and i got two bags because they were on special. then i decided i felt like a coffee but instead i got a frappuccino because it was really hot and drank it upstairs by myself, early in the morning, slurping away and watching a university student who was breathing heavily over a chemistry textbook with very stressed out skin. i enjoyed myself thoroughly!
and the newfrown festy later in the day only further implemented my belief that i hate huge crowds and scene kids in their huge groups and gothic kids in their huge troops unless i have a cool beverage or soothing company to help me hurl insults or a leafy location to provide shelter from death sun. we sat to watch paper scissors fo a bit and i ate... ahh fuck it i can't remember the name i had it last time, pancakey stuff, moved, and moved. lost george, lost dani numerous times. reunited with tom and the lot. exchanged phone call/s with jobe, found jobe, shared complaints with jobe, met others, charline grace ate sushi, j. sam me went to find takeaway. apparently horrible rice pudding, possibly bad potatoes, girls with nice mouths...? engaged in a manly conversation i remember this arising. left them, really should have accepted a lift because i spent so long trying to find phil afterwards and it was basically an impossible feat with 0 credit on the cellular, LUCKILY i heard "rachel!" and i found pete and matt and stuff loitering around a spiky tree.
think i escaped and was home by 6.30ish
went out to dinner with the fam at "thai in a flash" or "super quick thai" or "speedy thai" or something. it was just greasy. i never really thought thai could be greasy but it was, but i bumped into Anna who i hadn't seen in about 9 months which was nice.
so basically, my 'better judgement' at the start of the day was something along the lines of "go on Rachel, you'll regret it"
nup! a day of petty annoyance would have been wonderful, bigmouth strikes again

The Adventures of Rachel and Son in The Nighttime

Last night was so strange! and it all happened in the vicinity of my own home
Everything was great, i was thinking how it's a pity i manage to find amazing personalities but always females, and what a shame it is that i don't have a single lesbian bone in my body because then i'd be set for life, partner-wise. Then i got thinking, i wonder if any of the neighbours can see me, dancing in flowing movements all over my kitchen singing 'love, love will tear us apart,' a gourmet sandwich in one hand and a cat in the other, meowing along with me. Oh it was a wonderful sight, but i'm sure not so wonderful for prying eyes so i hope for their sake and for mine actually, no one saw. Haha i'm so gross i should be shot right off this planet, and a shame i don't have lesbian bones? i think not, heterosexual bones will do me just fine.
Anyway, so it was quite a normal night, about 11pm, a nice sandwich and some juice and i went downstairs to watch some teevee. Then it got saddd. The cat that was once in my hand had disappeared outside and returned to the door (very proudly) with a dead baby rat in his mouth. I'm always sad when that happens because Monty thinks he's done something great (but let me tell you he is no killer, he's so wonderfully thick and slow that he finds dead things on the ground and THINKS he caught them.) I let him in "Montyyyyy nooo i don't like your presents!" but then shockhorror it is not dead it is alive and doing this horrible coughing. Shockhorror, it is not a rat it is a tiny baby possum with blood on his/her (i think his) ears. I was soo sad and didn't no what to do and was crying because there was this poor little animal dying on my floor and coughing this horrible cough and shivering. Cursing my cat i shut him upstairs and got a blanket and gently rubbed him dry with a towel and put him in a roomy cotton sock on top of a covered hot water bottle to warm the little soul up. It was horrible he was coughing and he kept hugging my hand and looking for a nipple to suck or something but i couldn't let him go there plus there's no damn milk there anyway. So i quickly did some research and damnit he couldn't have cows milk and that's the only milk i had. So i made some 'rehydrating' substance and gave him some but he didn't really like it.
I kept him on my lap until about 2 in the morning and he felt nice and warm and i could hear wild calls outside so i thought (stupidly) i bet his Mom's looking for him. i got a fresh hot water bottle and lots of towelling and found him a sheltered spot under some bushes in the garden and left him there.
I dreamt that i awoke to my dad saying "he made it all right! Look at the size of him!" and he had turned into a dinosaur with a little possum head. Nah, didn't happen in real life eh. I finally went to check on him the next morning. I don't know why i delayed it i guess i just thought he'd either have gone with his Mom or be dead. I found him and to my horror he was soaked through and still breathing but coughing and on the verge of death i'm sure. I have never felt as horrible as i felt when i discovered him like that. You may notice i refer to the possum as 'him.' I didn't want to name him it was too sad if he died
I rushed to get a new hot water bottle and put him in fresh towels in my room in a shoebox and he was coughing but he slept for a long time. Mum came home and said "where's the possum?" and I was like "how did you know!" and then she reminded me that i had come into their bedroom the previous night and had stood there like a lonely sobbing ghost until Mum opened her eyes and i pitifully asked what to do with the dying possum on our floor. Haha i'm so gay. So mum called this animal rescue place and they said to keep him warm (smuggly i said "done that!")
They finally came to pick him up at 4pm today, 15 hours after he was brought into my life! I'm really going to miss him, i picked the lice off his baby coat and fed him hydrating substances and he scurried up my arms and nestled in the folds of my jumper. I named him Otis

dead flowers

awwww my god there is officially no way jesse is coming around europe with me anymore. uni commitments
fuck!
i have to find someone quick
or do i go by myself?
i definitely want 'alone time' - a few weeks or so. but 12 months i don't know if i can survive by myself for that long without another soul of similar origin (and by that i mean language)..

oh dear. if someone is reading this and you're free next year from around march and want to have some of the best times of your life with an ace chick (me) write me! seriously! i'm real nice and sometimes i make jokes it will be fun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PANIC on the streets of my throat

errrrrrrrr i'm never sick for more than a day and i've been sick for a whole 4 days now. the only good part of having a cold is sneezing heaps and having a sexxxy voice but today those things subsided into 0 sneezes and an ugly, ugly voice. i feel like a mutt
HSC IS OVER ON FRIDAY YEW!
not
i've actually had fun, it's been quite relaxing ahaha i'm going to do SO well

i mentioned that i was going to write a book! well i am, i'm starting it during the heavy cloud of grey of DOOOOOm that is hanging over my head- schoolies of course! everyone will be drinking doin' sum pillz going to da club and i'll be sipping some cask wine and writing my book in whatever nature i can find north of brisvegas yeaaah! oh my this makes that awful week so much more appealing
I had a bath last night!!!! a nice warm bath with scented candles and Enya haha NOT THAT I CAN SMELL IT WITH THIS STUFFY NOSE. :( :( :( grrrrAAAAAACHARLINE
woo books

XXSEX > XXGAY

"You know when your in love
when you can't fall asleep
because reality is finally
better than your
dreams"

pffft! this is the gayest citation i've ever heard in my life! not only is it completely gay, it's just plain wrong. number one, you can't not fall asleep because that's just going against the rules of the human configuration and you'd die, number two DREAMS WILL ALWAYS TOWER OVER REALITY
if you could see me i'd be spluttering all over my cereal i'm so utterly disgusted

i'm writing a book!

Before Halloween, Halloween, After Halloween

I'm really sick and really mind numb and really avoiding study so let me think what i've been doing this past week
Tuesday- BIOLOGY! haha what a dismal, dismal attempt at an exam. sucked
Phil and i got some pizza afterwards and looked in some opshops. didn't find a single find. that night we got icecream and broke into dani's new house and it was realll scary. there was no furniture, and i had been absolutely busting for the toilet and once i'd done that i knew immediately that those fags were trying to scare me (i scare V. easily). all the lights were off and i was standing in this room alone in the dark and i just started wailing like a lost cat for about a minute or two until they realised how unkind they were being to me because being lost in a foreign house with no furniture and no lights and in the bush with hermits probably scrabbling at the doors is basically my worst nightmare. we looked around but then we all got really scared because we could feel a strangers prescence upstairs and the loft was open so we bolted really quickly home

Wednesday- halloweeeeeen! jobe, charl, ash and i went trick o' treatin' around the richer area of manly. we actually got a decent hoard, probably because we went too late and everyone just gave us their leftovers. jobe's technique included buzzing everyone in the apartment block at the same time, resulting in the residents crying out "who is it?!" and us replying "teeeeeeeenagers!!!!" i somehow lost the bottom of my shoe and didn't realise until later when i was walking unevenly. charline charmed a whole bag of halloween snakes out of one lady and her little boy, we got startled by a garage that opened up and revealed a big gorilla growling at us, we could see the lady who wouldn't answer her door in the reflection of her hallway mirror. sucker!
hunger pangs meant we went to get pizza and chips with lots of sauce. we were approached by an irish man who said he wanted to get dressed up as a leprechaun (complete with authentic irish accent) but he said we were the only people he'd seen dressed up. hahaha it's kind of funny because we were barely dressed up apart from some fangs painted on and some scars, but people are all like "ooh i love your costume". especially to jobe. "but i'm not dressed up!" hahaha. the best moment of the night was probably when a girl was being discussed and how she'd lost heaps of weight and charline said "yeah she used to look like vomit but now she just looks like poo." naturally we are all flabbergasted and laughing and jobe says
"but poo is worse then vomit.." and charline replies
"No! poo is all the same.. but see vomit well it varies.."

haha!

oh and we uncovered a little gay boy in one house

Thursday- i went in the morning with mum to get passport photos because i am getting a british passport yay! and becoming a british citizen yay! but we couldn't get it because only a couple of places in sydney do it. so i met up with phil and elle and we got a beverage and went to brookvale opshop. it was ok, i got some really nice shoes but ahhh as soon as i got home the heel of it crumbled! SO annoying