I definitely feel as if i have a problem with reality
or.. is there a jack dawson out there for me!! i feel as if i'll never meet him because i have a severe problem with cruise ships because everyone always dies on them i guess you could say it's my phobia.
but he was my perfect man!
artistically perfect, thoughtfully perfect, aesthetically perfect, financially perfect, lifestyle perfect. perfect perfect perfect !!!
i have come to a fatal conclusion that perhaps i am very discontent with reality and that often i lose the ability to distinguish between real and thought, that i often become so absorbed in what i was thinking about i have to stop myself and scorn myself, "no, that's not real." it's only recently i've begun doing this because i'm not sixteen anymore and i can't whittle away an imaginary life, mainly because the boring and extremely limited reality shocks and depresses me when i return!! oh my god i have to stop , my dissatisfaction with actuality will be what kills me!
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