I Knew If I Turned, I'd Turn Away From You, And I Couldn't Look Back

i saw The Cure last night
i never imagined i'd arrive almost late to a night like this. but we did, yet we still managed to be right at the very front thanks to jobe's goon manipulation
i wasn't excited.. i can't really explain, even to myself, but i just felt like i'm walking to a big centre but i'll just get there and it will be an empty room and it was all a big trick.. or something.
Robert Smith was literally standing no more than a couple of metres away from me. he was singing to me! he had such a wonderful voice and when he spoke i couldn't understand because of his lovely accent but then he'd smile or look away and it was like, you grasped it. he had these eyes! these amazing eyes that glanced up on rare occasions but when they did it was like he was looking at everyone and letting them take in his soul
i couldn't pinpoint a moment that was the best.. actually thinking back to last night it still doesn't seem like it happened
friday im in love is where we got to the front, and it was immediately followed by just like heaven, which was amazing as He realised that despite the popularity and pop-ish quality of the songs He'd written something that made people Smile or Cry but it was an emotion and everyone was feeling something. lullaby was amazing. the exploding boy was amazing.
i almost thought They were going to leave without playing Plainsong but it came. i think i actually cried, "and it's so cold, it's like the cold if you were dead, and then you smiled for a second" I think i was the only one reaching out at that moment, but how could i not. it was so beautiful and live does Them so much

walking out afterwards i guess i didn't feel the happiness i expected
sure i was euphoric but in a strange way i'd never felt so empty

was this the moment where it was so cold, like the cold if you were dead
but i smiled for a second?

empty is an inexplicable feeling