(faux) shoplifting

I'm fucking sick of being treated like a derelict ! is it my appearance? my clothes my hair what is it, do i have the appearance of an unkempt watch out this girl shoplifts? i never, only jobe! hahaha. like, i was leaving k-mart after purchasing some modest sandshoes, and the lady asked to check my bag AFTER i'd made my purchase (i know this is standard for 'teens' but..) then she saw some pawpaw lipbalm that i'd had for eternitys and she looked at it then winked and did a 'get outta here' motion- in other words she thought i'd stolen it but was saying go on, scat cat i won't tell. bitch ! my eyes were like laserbeams burning her soul !
then, i was leaving another shop and as i'd purchased like a birthday card or something i got to the doors of the shop and the security lady asked to look inside my STORE bag which had my bday card in and was sealed with tape. fuck ! burn in hell, not that that shit exists
i feel like a good book, paired with a nice large cap with x froth and a six pack o' donuts. i feel like a lot of things- clearer weather, yoshi's story, tom to get back and some internal warming.
i miss tom, it's not fair that he should keep leaving me. on an extremely selfish note, i hope i am blessed with death before him so i dont have to miss him ! not for decades though, i want a fulfilling life. i'll get him back next year when i flee the country for a year ! i was thinking about it and there really is only a few people i will truly miss. i think there are a few fake friendships that i will be glad when they move on in my absence, less pretending and more time for the good stuff. focus my time since there's clearly not enough !!