JOSEPH SALEH / LURKY McLURK

the weirdest shit just happened to me !! holy mongrel its still quivering through my bones damn my bored, bored friends.
but i'll come to that later,
today me danik and phil went to bondi. the drive there in the tampon was lovely. umm what did we do? dan did a fab reverse park and she continues to do so, so that rubbish she speaks that she can't park is rubbish !!
we looked in some shoppies but weren't really feeling it so we got some oporto, then icecream- well phil got a choco-lite (i think?) which the guy was wayyy too enthusiastic with and it was sloshing all down the sides so he quickly became repulsed with so much choco-lite, dani got some mocha milkshake thing and i got a smoothie. sat on the hill by the beach and watched this skater that dani had become obsessed with ! ba! he was not hot, slightly attractive maybe. he had the complexion of theROCK from WWF (oops WWE ) and an almost shaved head and baggy cottonish pants with a tight white singlet. ohhhh man my unattraction totally supported the theory we came up with which is v. true that i am attracted to scrawny/ anorexic legged boys, and i have to add smoking a cig to that. anyway, when he realised they were blatantly staring at him he took his shirt off aha that makes me sick, dani was swooned. we stayed there for about an hour i think. i was more enthralled by brazillian tourists all running into the water screaming and holding hands at the same time. then our parking expireed so we had a heaps scenic route back, went through the spit way. chilled at phillys for a while, went to drop jessik at softball training, came back, ate dinner watched some biggest loser. which is when we decided we are going to lose weight ! haha we'd been eating takeaway all day, all holidays really and we were so motivated so we're apparently not eating any more mcdonalds for the rest of the holidays (eek) and going to increase exercise. actually i lie, start exercise. tomorrow night instead of socialising withour friends me and phil decided we are going to go for a bike ride and do exercise. at night ! total ! schoop !
then we had to go pick jessk up which was lovely in principle because they were MEANT to finish at 8.00pm and we'd get home intime for next top model at 8.30 but their stupid fucking coach who i could have smashed dead killed the life out of him kept them there until 8.29 !!!! ahhhh. hahaha when jessi started coming over we were like hurry jess huryyyyy next top model and we had the door open and the boot open and we were all screaming (jess included) and were basically driving off before she was seated and everyone was like byee jess ! and we were shouting THERE'S NO TIME THERE'S NO TIME TO REPLY ! we managed to get from curl curl to the ville in like 6-7mins i think, and just missed the start. oh well, it was quite a good episode. alice i loveee she is so malnourished and emotionless and hilare ! steph f. got eliminated, who was phils favourite. it should have been jane she is disgusting. unhealthy pale and spotted and with a shine on top of her eyebrows and a droopy face and motionless top lip and Er she is just repulsive. always swearing and loriding her pants and being so unenthusiastic.
ANYWAY. so i called tom to pick me up and we got home about quarter past 10 or something, and i wound down then went to watch tv ( on these ppl who survived shark attacks and stuff !) in toms room alone. long story short, im incredibly frigtened in my house because i live next to a deserted house where a murderer called P.M.H. buries his victims. and when me and phil broke into his basement last summer it confirmed our suspicions and we stole something of his and he's aware and is on my trail to kill me, but is biding his time so he drives me insane. anywayz, so i was watching tv and i was really close to the window, and then i hear this tapping. im an incredibly jumpy and sus individual with a crazy imagination and i thought it was P.M.H finally making his move or tom being shit twin. i stayed still hoping i had imagined it then it went again and i heard the bushes rustling. i was like fuck this shit and bolted downstairs where mum and tom were watching tv and i was like eh? stop fucking doing that tom you know how scared i am ! and he was like what? and mum always gives it away straight away when someones lying but she was like what are you talking about rachel? i kept accusing but they really held there ground. but i was so freaked that tom said hed come with me becoz i really wanted to seeee if these ppl were mauled by sharks, then we were in his room again and my phone rang off private number and i was like hello? and it was just heavy breathing and it happened again oh that reminds me a bit before this tom came and said my phone was ringing but it was in my room and i should go get it but i made him but he said he couldnt find it (i should have smelled a rat then) so i was like er..got it, continued watching tv. back to the phonecalls, then i was lke fuck off i know its you danik rada rada. then phil called and i was like where the fuck are you ! and hes like..um im at home. and i was liike whatever your outside my fucking house scaring me arent you! but they denied so i made him go wake up his mum to prove he was at home but it took ages so i just hung up, then there was knocking on the door and i was like wahhh im about to be murdered so i made mum answer it and i could tell she was scared..........















THEN PHIL AND DK WERE THERE WITH A VIDEO CAM PISSING THEMSELVES with me being like fuck you fuck you ahhhh you cunts omg . hahaha it was so brill, they had followed me home from the ville to the cove, communicated with tom through a window then gotten into my house, snuck into my room (they were hiding in my cupboard when tom told me to go get my phone) but then i left. they said they saw me doing various stuffs, spying through reflections in paintings and shit ! so basically they were lurking in my house, my room without me even noticing. which in the long run makes me incredibly scared because its so easy for P.M.H. to do the same. those fuckers !
i bet they'll totally show it on y12 grad. all the footage of me is so total, like rapping and dancing and now being like omg omg omg in my house
damn my friends and their pro lurking. i feel like a sitting duck in my house now :(